


Surrender the night

by chiara_scuro



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Day 5: Sleepless, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nigthmares, Post-Book 1: Carry On, Pre-Book 2: Wayward Son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiara_scuro/pseuds/chiara_scuro
Summary: It used to be easier. When I was still at Watford, at least someone was there when I woke up from a nightmare. Granted, Baz would only hiss at me to shut up, but at least I wasn’t alone.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Surrender the night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is a short little fic I wrote for the Carry on countdown day 5: sleepless. It's set between Carry On and Wayward son  
> Please bear with me, I wrote it in two sittings because my time management skills are awful, so it might not be that good. It's also unbeta'd so forgive me for any grammar mistakes
> 
> The title is a song by My Chemical Romance. It has nothing to do with the fic, but it was stuck in my head while I was writing it
> 
> CW for mentions of knives, which is also why I rated it T even though it could be rated G, maybe, anyway, AO3 confuses me sometimes

SIMON

It used to be easier. When I was still at Watford, at least someone was _there_ when I woke up from a nightmare. Granted, Baz would only hiss at me to shut up, but at least I wasn’t alone.

I don’t have to be alone now either. I could just cross the corridor to Penny’s room, but I don’t want to wake her up. I don’t want to inconvenience her with all my fucked-up head shit.

I could also call Baz and ask him to stay the night, but that thought is slightly terrifying. Baz has stayed the night a few times, but not in a while now. Maybe I should text him…

I check my phone. 1:30AM. I’m not going to text him – he has classes tomorrow.

Instead, I do what I usually do these days when I have a nightmare and that is to go for a walk. One would argue that it’s dangerous to walk alone in London in the middle of the night, and I agree, but I also don’t really care. Someone stalked me and cornered me a few weeks ago and I punched them in the throat and fled and it was the best I’ve felt in months. (Although now I do carry a pocket knife with me. Just in case.)

Baz and Penny would lose it if they knew. They’d probably put extra locks on the door. Baz would probably be hiding outside my flat to see if I left the building and stalk me wherever I went. It would be like fifth year, but reversed.

Thank magic they don’t know.

The London air in April is crisp and cool and the pavements are wet – it must’ve rained earlier. I take a deep breath and start walking down the street, towards the chippy, already feeling the anxiety leaving my body. I roll my shoulders back, careful not to stretch out my wings (they’re hidden under my hoodie).

I have an established route for my middle-of-the-night walks, but I don’t feel like taking it today, instead opting to go left by the chippy and head for the park. That’s probably not a good idea – parks are dark and usually full of drunk people – but the thought of taking my usual route seems suffocating right now.

The wind blows through the trees, rustling the leaves and making some rain drops fall on the top of my head. The sound of wind blowing through the leaves reminds me of Watford – on windy nights, I could hear it coming from the Wavering Wood – and that makes me feel a bit calmer. Maybe coming to the park was a good idea. 

Or maybe it wasn’t. After ten minutes or so, I realize someone is following me. I don’t dare to turn around, just pick up my pace, clutching my knife in the pocket of my hoodie. I think I should be out of the park in ten minutes, but then I’d have to walk the long way home.

The footsteps behind me pick up their pace too, and I can’t decide if that makes me terrified or excited. Maybe it’s a goblin, but I think they stopped trying to kill me after I lost my magic. I’m not sure I can even still _see_ the fuckers.

It’s probably just a mugger. Or a drunk. I’ll stretch out my wings and they’ll flee.

A hand settles on my shoulder and I quickly turn around, pulling out my knife.

“Crowley, Snow, it’s just me!” Baz jumps back.

“Fuck, Baz, you can’t just creep up on people like that! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Baz says, looking much more composed. I feel bad for pointing a knife at him, but he has given me quite a scare. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he adds, as if he was reading my mind.

“’s fine,” I mutter, snapping my pocket knife closed and slipping it back in my hoodie. “Why are you here?”

“My butcher ran out of blood. I’ve had to settle for squirrels,” he says. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? I still have some blood in my freezer.”

“It’s probably gone bad by now,” he waves his hand dismissively. “Why are you wandering some park in the middle of the night, Snow?”

“I, uh, couldn’t sleep. It helps me to walk around sometimes,” I admit.

“That’s dangerous,” Baz says.

“Says the bloke who’s also wandering some park in the middle of the night,” I scoff.

“That’s different. I’m a vampire,” Baz defends himself. It’s too dark to see him properly, but I’m sure he’s rolling his eyes right now.

“I’m used to fighting,” I insist.

“You shouldn’t be. Can I walk you home?”

I hesitate for a moment. “Fine.”

I do feel a bit safer with him there. I want to take his hand, but I don’t know if I should.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Baz asks, his voice softer now.

“Um… nightmare.”

“Simon.”

“What?”

“I told you to call me if that happens,” he says. I sigh, my chest feeling heavy.

“You have classes tomorrow,” I defend myself. He sighs like I’m being unreasonable. (I’m not.)

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Uh… since February.”

“Simon,” he repeats, his voice stern. “Call me next time, okay?”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you,” I mutter, my throat feeling tight. Baz grabs me by the shoulders and turns me so that I’m facing him.

“Listen. I’m your _boyfriend_ , Snow. I care about you and you’re not inconveniencing me and I can’t stand the thought of you being alone or putting yourself in danger when you’re feeling like this. Can you promise me that you’ll stop doing that? Call me or wake up Bunce or call your therapist, just don’t… do this. Because it’s not safe. Okay?”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Okay.”

“Would you like me to stay over?” he asks. My first instinct is to say no, even though I want him to stay over. I’d hate to be alone right now, and listening to Baz’s breathing always helps me sleep. Baz seems to sense my apprehension, because he keeps talking. “We don’t have to do anything. I can sleep on the sofa if you want me to,” he adds. I nearly start crying right there and then.

He’s so good to me. Too good to me. He keeps giving and all I do is take. He deserves much better than that.

But then I think about Baz having to walk home alone in the middle of the night and a shiver runs down my spine. He’s right; it’s not safe, vampirism be damned. If anything happens to him, it would be my fault.

And underneath all the fear, I do want him to stay.

“It’s okay,” I say. “There’s room for both of us.”

  


BAZ

He’s a mess. A mess and an idiot, for walking around London in the middle of the night. Granted, there’s a certain amount of male privilege protecting him, but there are attackers who don’t discriminate based on one’s gender. And as far as I know, the goblins still have a price on his head.

I can’t believe he’s been doing this for months and I only just now found out about it. I’m definitely going to have to have a word with Bunce in the morning, to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I know Simon isn’t going to like me doing so, but he can’t just go around risking his safety. That damned pocket knife can’t protect him from everything, especially not dark creatures.

I decide that’s a conversation for tomorrow, though. Right now, I’ll just marvel in my luck that he’s letting me stay.

It’s been difficult, being close to Simon lately. He tends to pull away, to shut into himself in, so him letting me stay the night is a miracle. I’m determined not to push him away tonight.

He throws me a pair of his trackies to sleep in and I go to the bathroom to change.

“Are you good with the blood?” he asks when I come back. He’s sitting cross legged on his bed, his wings stretched out behind him. He looks beautiful.

“I was just finishing up when I saw you,” I say, plugging my phone in one of his spare chargers. I can feel his eyes on me as I fold my clothes over his chair. I try to stall because I’m anxious about what’s going to happen when I get into bed. Is he going to start pulling away again?

“Baz,” he says, his voice half a whisper. “Come here.”

I crawl next to him on the bed, careful not to touch him. Careful not to push him any further than what he’s comfortable with. (I don’t know what he’s comfortable with.)

He takes my hand.

“I’m sorry,” he starts. “About the whole not calling you thing.”

His eyes aren’t quite meeting mine and I reach my other hand out to push the curls out of his face. (He needs a haircut.) “It’s okay,” I say quietly. “Just know that you’re not inconveniencing me.”

“Yeah.”

“Come on. It’s late.”

He turns off the light and we each settle on our side of the bed. We’re not touching, but even this is a small progress. It’s been so long since we shared a bed, since I fell asleep listening to his breathing.

I listen to it now and I know he’s awake. I can feel his warmth, even from my side of the bed, and it takes every ounce of strength not to roll over and lean into it.

Something snakes around my waist. His tail.

“Control your appendages, Snow,” I whisper.

Then, a whole Simon snakes around my waist.

“Shut up,” he mutters. I press a kiss on the top of his head.

“Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!  
> [here's my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/vampire-named-gampire)


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